Interested in exploring mindfulness with the kids in your life? These are some tools that you and your kids can add to your mindfulness toolboxes. Mindfulness is not a magic bullet that will solve all your problems, but it can be fun and interesting to explore some tools that might help you tune into the present moment with a sense of curiosity and compassion. Try some of these out, add your own, and see how it goes!
I hear with my little ear: This can be done with eyes open or closed, depending on your comfort level. Invite in some stillness, quieting your body so you can notice sounds in your environment. Starting with hands in gentle fists, silently raise a finger each time you notice a sound, continuing until you get to five or ten different sounds. Then you can talk about what you noticed. Kids often notice sounds I didn’t hear!
I spy “categories“: Notice five things that are green in your environment. Start with hands in gentle fists and silently raise a finger with each thing you see. You can repeat this exercise with other colors and categories (five things that are blue, shiny, round, soft, etc.)
A grounding sensory practice: 5-4-3-2-1
5 things you see
4 things you hear
3 things you feel on your skin
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
Deliberate tension, deliberate softness: Make your arms really tense for five to ten seconds and then deliberately soften the same muscles so that they relax. Do the same with other parts of the body.
Recite a mantra: This can be calming for some. A mantra can be anything repeated over and over…poetry, song lyrics, a bible verse, the colors in rainbow order, the planets, a word or phrase. It might feel supportive and elicit a calming feeling if your mantra has a positive association for you, so maybe choose something of interest or that you simply like the sound of! It might be fun to do a little research on Sanskrit mantras and find one that seems like it fits with whatever you’re hoping for. https://www.sonima.com/yoga/sanskrit-mantras/
Along the line of mantras, perhaps try thinking of the music you listen to as mantras being repeated in the background of your life. Consider choosing music with lyrics that you would be comfortable reciting as a mantra. It’s interesting to notice how the music you are listening to might be contributing to your well being!
Popsicles: Before you eat a popsicle, see what you notice with your eyes. What colors do you see? Is it smooth or bumpy? How does it smell? Take a lick or a bite. What temperature do you notice? What flavor do you notice? How does the popsicle change as more time goes by? (This could be fun with one of the three colored popsicles, so you can notice how the flavor changes.)
Ice cubes: What do you notice as an ice cube melts on the sidewalk or in a hot cup of tea? Can you notice the last few moments of the cube, before it becomes completely melted? What if you let an ice cube melt in your hand? What do you notice?
Bedtime breaths: Laying on your back, place your hand on your belly as you take long, slow breaths in and out. Notice how your belly rises and falls with each inhale and exhale. Your child can do the same with a stuffed animal resting on his or her belly, taking the animal for a ride up and down with each breath.
Toilet bowl release: When you are having trouble sleeping because of all the thoughts swirling around in your head, this can be a useful tool to let some of that sh*t go. My mindfulness buddies lovingly refer to it as the “toilet bowl trick.” Begin by inhaling, imagining your breath is swirling around in your head, loosening up those thoughts that are not serving you right now. Imagine those thoughts sticking to your breath, and as you exhale, visualize the breath gently carrying those thoughts down and out the bottom of your feet. Repeat as often as feels supportive or until you fall asleep.
Technology for kids: If I’m being honest, I don’t have a lot of buy-in from my kids here. We have tinkered with some meditations for sleep on the Insight Timer app, but these kind of sites, apps, games, etc. just aren’t my kids’ jam. However, I know some parents that swear by them for their kids’ state of well being. I have heard good things about the Stressed Teens website, as well as the Headspace app for kids. Additionally, the Go Noodle app has come recommended by some educators to help kids with body awareness and movement. Finally, recommended by some of my favorite OT’s, our family has had some luck with listening to the Quickshifts* albums to encourage a state of regulation. *Their website recommends families “work with your therapist to determine which specific Quickshift album(s) would be the most appropriate at this time for you or your child.”
A parent’s personal practice: Explore a daily personal mindfulness practice. Twenty minutes a day is the goal, starting with whatever you can manage. Noticing even a single breath is practicing mindfulness! Find some guided meditations that feel supportive to you. I use the Insight Timer app. Some people recommend the Calm app. The Monroe Institute just came out with an app called Expand that I bet is good. I know some people that just search for a certain meditation they are seeking on You Tube (example: body scan meditation, guided meditation for anxiety, chakra balancing meditation, etc.)
Practicing mindfulness regularly helps adults have regulated nervous systems. As mammals, we are constantly noticing subtle shifts within the other mammals in our environment. We attune ourselves to each other. Have you noticed how petting your dog or cat can feel calming to you??
Our children’s brains are not fully developed and therefore they cannot fully self-regulate yet. They look to their caregivers to help regulate their nervous systems. Through a process known as co-regulation, adults are able to support a child in having a regulated nervous system. Parents don’t have to “do” anything extra! They can help their children simply by being present and regulated, even in stressful moments. A daily personal mindfulness practice is one tool that adults can use to experience a more consistent state of self-regulation.
So even if your kids are not buying into practicing mindfulness for themselves yet, your own personal practice has the ability to support them in the regulation of their nervous systems!
Tools that have worked for me personally in maintaining a more regulated nervous system:
- A daily mindfulness practice
- Eliminating processed sugar & alcohol
- Exercising
- Connecting with friends and family
- Spending time in nature
- Noticing Spirit
- Morning and evening rituals
I recommend trying out different tools to see what supports you. It could be listening to music, going for walks, dancing, coloring, building something, fixing a car, whatever feels supportive to your unique, one-of-a-kind system!
When your mind wanders or you find yourself behaving in a way that feels like the opposite of mindful (which happens to me, often!), try gently offering yourself kindness and compassion as you return to the present moment. Offering kindness and compassion to yourself when you are not being mindful can feel a little odd at first, yet it can eventually become a part of your practice!
“Being in the present moment (being mindful) is a form of meditation. The best way to be in the present moment is to be aware that you’re NOT in the present moment. As soon as you’re aware that you’re NOT in the moment, you’re IN the moment!” – Deepak Chopra